River of Tears
by Sita Moonlight
Summary: Takes place right after 7.2 "Beneath You". Can Buffy and Spike actually rest like Spike hopes? (I suck at summaries, I know)


Title: River of Tears  
Author: Sita  
Summary: Takes place right after 7.2 "Beneath You". Can Buffy and Spike actually rest like Spike hopes? (I suck at summaries, I know)  
Rating: PG  
Spoilers: Post- "Beneath You"  
Disclaimer: I don't own any BTVS characters except Spike....well maybe I don't, but I can pretend, can't I?  
  
  
  
She stood there, not moving, not talking, only silent tears slipped down her cheeks as she watched him. The soft sizzling of his sensitive vampiric skin brought her back to earth as she slowly walked up to him, pulling him gently off the cross.  
  
"Can we?" He whispered. "Can we rest?"  
  
He looked so tired and drained as he spoke those few words, so tired of his soul, the way people treated him, so tired of everything. He looked at her, cocking his head ever so slightly, as he hesitantly reached out a hand to brush away a stray tear.  
  
"No tears, Buffy." He said softly, his thumb catching the tear. "No tears for me."  
  
She looked up at him, at this moment only wanting to fall into his arms and sob. Spike had a soul. Spike had a soul. She kept repeating that small phrase in her mind, the words replaying themselves like a broken record.   
  
"For me?" She finally spoke up, her voice breaking on the last word and another dam of tears breaking, and spilling onto her cheeks. "I don't....I didn't think...."  
  
"Shhh," He tried to smile at her, but it only came out half-heartedly, for his own tears were streaking his face.  
  
She took a step closer to him, lightly touching his forearms, trying her best to avoid touching his brand new burns. Bright red blisters were now scattered in several places on his upper body.   
  
"We have to take care of you." She whispered, trying her best to not sob. Because, if she started, she *knew* she wouldn't be able to stop.  
  
"I'll be fine, luv." He smiled at her, sadly.  
  
"Please." She whispered, looking up at him. "Come with me. Please, Spike."  
  
At her sudden begging he nodded, letting her lead the way to 1630 Revello Drive. And, side by side they walked up the and inside her home, only to come face to face with Dawn and Xander.  
  
Buffy looked over at Spike, knowing they both looked like a mess and some explaining would be in order. But, she really didn't feel like it right now.  
  
"Aren't you supposed to be in bed?" She asked Dawn, and her voice cracked causing her to turn her head away.  
  
"Buffy?" Dawn and Xander asked in usion.  
  
"Not right now, please." She looked at them both, a few tears escaping her eyes. "I....I have to talk to Spike.   
  
"But he-" Xander started.  
  
"Don't Xander." Buffy looked straight at Xander, her eyes pleading-like. "Just, don't."  
  
Xander nodded, "I'll go." He looked over at Dawn. "And Dawnster, you better get into bed."  
  
The two left, heading in different directions, leaving Buffy and Spike alone.   
  
"Let me get the first aid." She said quietly, making her way up the stairs to return only a minute later with bandages and disinfectant.   
  
The two ex-lovers sat in silence as she quietly tended his burns, the only noises were him hissing in pain as she cleaned his wounds.   
  
"You know, "She said quietly, hesitantly. "I missed you while you were gone."   
  
She felt she needed to tell him. He needed some proof that he was still cared for.  
  
"I thought of you every night," He whispered just as she finished bandaging him up.   
  
She looked up at him, "Do I really deserve what you got for me? You're in so much pain....Do....Do I deserve to see you in so much pain? Do *I* cause you so much pain?"  
  
He looked at her, his sad blue eyes meeting her own. "It's the soul, Buffy. It's not the pain."  
  
"I know, but..." She trailed off, placing her head in her hands.  
  
"But?" He whispered, placing his index finger under her chin and lifting her head so his eyes could meet hers.  
  
"I feel as if it's all my fault. I-I must of caused you so much pain. More, it had to be more than you ever caused me." She whispered. And, she broke down. She couldn't hold the tears in anymore and they spilled over. A river of tears.  
  
He pulled her close, and he also let himself break down as he held her, his own salty river spilling over her neck and down her shoulder where his head was now buried.   
  
And, the two knew it was only the beginning of a long journey that lie ahead. One full of tears, pain, sorrow, yet love, compassion, and understand. And, they knew they could pull through this together. They would work as a team this time. For, they would be fighting the biggest and most powerful demon in all their time together: Love.  
  
  
The End  
  
AN: God the ending of "Beneath You" *shivers* I loved the Spike-centricness in it, but I feel so sorry for the poor guy.   
  
Please review! 


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